Jordan Peterson: STOP USING THESE BULLSH*T DATING APPS
TLDRThe transcript discusses the manipulative strategies used by some dating apps, such as creating fake profiles to attract users, particularly men, and the impact this has on relationships and societal norms. It highlights the gender disparity in matching preferences on platforms like Tinder, leading to a potential shift from monogamy to polygamy and the associated social instability. The conversation also touches on the ease of infidelity and 'ghosting' in the digital age, and how these interactions can shape individuals' approach to relationships, potentially fostering psychopathic behavior.
Takeaways
- 🔥 Tinder is perceived as a platform that 'starts fires', not just sexually, but also in terms of initiating interactions and relationships.
- 💡 Some dating apps use manipulative strategies, such as creating fake profiles of attractive women to entice male users and encourage them to purchase premium features.
- 🤔 The term 'chasing the dragon' is used to describe the addictive nature of these dating apps, where users are given a 'hit' of satisfaction and then continually seek that high.
- 🧍♂️ Men are more likely to swipe right on dating apps, while women are more selective, reflecting the concept of hypergamy where women seek partners who are higher in the success hierarchy.
- 👩❤️👨 Women tend to seek men who are older, successful, handsome, and personable, as a way to equalize the economic disparity that can result from childbearing and family responsibilities.
- 🤯 Tinder and similar apps are seen as transformative technologies that can potentially create 'hyper-successful predatory males' and reduce the likelihood of rejection for some users.
- 🏆 The most successful users on Tinder, such as those with thousands of matches, may be inadvertently trained to adopt psychopathic traits due to the lack of rejection and emphasis on short-term sexual gratification.
- 💔 The shift from monogamy to polygamy, facilitated by dating apps, can lead to social instability as a small minority of men dominate the sexual opportunities, leaving the majority with little to no chance.
- 👀 The ease of cheating and the phenomenon of 'ghosting' have become more common with the use of dating apps, allowing for discreet encounters and the avoidance of commitment or emotional intimacy.
- 🧠 Repeated use of dating apps can lead to the establishment of shallow interaction patterns, potentially affecting users' ability to form meaningful relationships.
Q & A
What is the primary concern regarding the naming of Tinder?
-The primary concern is that Tinder's name is seen as appropriate because it acts as a 'fire starter', not just in terms of sexual attraction but also in terms of initiating complex social interactions and potentially manipulative behaviors within the dating app landscape.
What is the term used to describe the practice of placing fake attractive profiles on dating apps?
-The term used for this practice is 'seating', where dating apps create fake profiles of attractive individuals, usually women, to attract male users and encourage them to engage more with the app.
What is the psychological effect that dating apps aim to create with the use of fake profiles?
-Dating apps aim to create an addictive effect, often referred to as 'chasing the dragon', a term borrowed from drug usage, to keep users engaged and seeking the high of initial matches and interactions, without necessarily leading to meaningful connections.
How do men and women differ in their swiping behavior on dating apps like Tinder?
-Men are more likely to swipe right or like a majority of the profiles they see, with statistics showing they do so for over 60% of female profiles. In contrast, women are more selective, liking only about 4% of the male profiles they encounter.
What is hypergamy and how does it manifest in the context of dating apps?
-Hypergamy is the practice of individuals seeking mates of a higher social, economic, or success status than their own. On dating apps, this is reflected in women's tendency to select a smaller percentage of men who exhibit signs of success, intelligence, and desirable personality traits, in an effort to equalize the potential risks and costs associated with sex and potential childbearing.
Why are women more selective in their choice of partners on dating apps?
-Women are more selective because they face greater risks and costs associated with sex and childbearing, both physically and emotionally. They seek partners who are competent, generous, and successful to help offset these challenges and provide support.
How does the success of certain men on Tinder contribute to the transformation of monogamy into polygamy?
-The success of a small subset of men on Tinder, who receive a high volume of matches and almost no rejection, sets them up to engage in short-term sexual relationships without emotional intimacy or long-term commitment. This can lead to a shift from monogamous relationships to a polygamous dynamic, where a minority of men have the majority of sexual opportunities.
What is the potential social instability caused by the Pareto distribution of sexual opportunities on dating apps?
-The Pareto distribution, where a small minority of men receive the majority of sexual opportunities, can lead to social instability. It creates a situation where many men experience little to no success on dating apps, which can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction, while a few men enjoy a surplus of sexual encounters, potentially fostering predatory behaviors.
How does the ease of cheating through dating apps contribute to relationship issues?
-Dating apps facilitate discreet encounters by allowing users to match with individuals outside their social circles. This ease of cheating can strain relationships and create trust issues, as the potential for infidelity is increased and the likelihood of getting caught is reduced.
What is 'ghosting' and how does it reflect a psychopathic strategy in dating?
-Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone after a sexual encounter, deleting them from your phone and blocking them on social media without any explanation. This behavior is seen as a psychopathic strategy because it involves forming predatory relationships and disappearing without consequence to one's reputation, allowing the cycle to continue with minimal emotional attachment or responsibility.
What are the potential long-term effects of repeatedly using people for short-term sexual gratification?
-Repeatedly using people for short-term sexual gratification can establish a pattern of interaction that disregards meaningful relationships. Over time, this behavior may lead to a mindset that views sex and relationships as purely transactional, potentially affecting one's ability to form deep, emotional connections in the future.
Outlines
🔥 Tinder's Manipulative Strategies and Impact on Relationships
This paragraph discusses the manipulative tactics used by some dating apps, including Tinder, to attract and retain users. It is revealed that these apps employ 'seating', a strategy involving the creation of fake profiles of attractive women to entice male users. The intention is to provide an initial 'hit' of success, akin to the 'chasing the dragon' effect from drug use, which leads to a continuous pursuit of this high. The speaker criticizes this practice as creating heartbreak and frustration, and suggests that all dating apps likely engage in similar strategies. The paragraph also delves into the differences in user behavior on Tinder, highlighting that women are more selective, swiping right for only 4% of men, while men tend to swipe right for over 60% of women's profiles. This is linked to the concept of 'hypergamy', where women seek partners who are successful and can provide economic stability, given the greater risks they face from sexual encounters and potential pregnancies.
💔 Tinder's Role in Transforming Monogamy to Polygamy and Social Consequences
The second paragraph explores how Tinder and similar dating apps are influencing a shift from monogamous to polygamous relationships, emphasizing the potential for social instability. It describes a Pareto distribution in sexual opportunities, where a small percentage of men receive the majority of matches, leading to a disparity in sexual access. The ease of infidelity and the rise of 'ghosting' are also discussed as consequences of dating apps, which allow for discreet encounters outside of one's social circle. The paragraph concludes with a reflection on the psychological impact of such behaviors, suggesting that the repeated practice of using others for personal gain can establish a pattern of Psychopathic behavior, leading to shallow and predatory interactions rather than meaningful relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Tinder
💡Manipulative strategies
💡Hypergamy
💡Psychopathy
💡Social instability
💡Ghosting
💡Economic disparity
💡Rejection
💡Success hierarchy
💡Conquest strategy
💡Meaningful relationships
Highlights
Tinder is described as a fire starter, not just sexually, but in terms of its widespread influence on social interactions.
Tech companies, including dating apps, are said to use manipulative strategies to attract and retain users.
Some dating apps reportedly use 'seating', a practice of placing fake profiles of attractive women to entice male users.
The strategy of using fake profiles is likened to giving users a 'hit', creating a desire to 'chase the dragon', a term from drug usage.
The idea behind 'seating' is to give new male users a sense of success with an immediate match, potentially leading to a cycle of seeking validation through the app.
Tinder and similar apps are seen as contributing to a significant amount of heartbreak and frustration due to their manipulative nature.
The gender disparity in matching preferences on dating apps is highlighted, with women being more selective and men swiping right more frequently.
Women's preference for older, successful, and personable men is explained as a strategy to equalize the economic disparity resulting from sex and pregnancy.
The concept of 'hypergamy' is introduced, where women seek mates across and up success hierarchies, while men meet across and down.
Tinder is considered a transformative technology that has the potential to produce 'hyper-successful predatory males'.
The app's design is said to reduce rejection, which is seen as a significant change from traditional mating interactions where rejection was common.
Successful polyamorous males on Tinder are viewed as being 'hyper selected' by women, leading to a potential development of psychopathic tendencies.
Tinder's influence is compared to a broad social experiment, with the potential to transform monogamy into polygamy, leading to social instability.
The ease of cheating through dating apps is discussed, as they allow for discreet encounters outside one's social circle.
Ghosting, the act of suddenly cutting off all communication after a sexual encounter, is mentioned as a new phenomenon facilitated by dating apps.
The impact of repeated short-term, exploitative relationships on an individual's ability to form meaningful connections is questioned.